Today it has been exclusively revealed in a newspaper today that I wouldn't wrap my fish and chips in let alone read, that a crazy theory that they have been espousing for years has a new twist coincidently on the same day a family is mourning having lost their mother 10 years ago. The shock news being reported is that someone who has had those same ten years to come out and denounce his own previous version of events, that he has in fact been confirming to may other newspapers and broadcast media sources, is now saying something different.
Apparently all these years we have been maligning the driver of the car, it was in fact a piece of cake for him to take a sharply sloping turn at three times the speed limit while three times over the drink drive limit. So what happened? Simple, Lord Lucan was paid by Professor James Moriarty to drive a white Fiat Uno, he uses a Phased plasma rifle in the 40W range to take out the car, then drives off to park the Uno behind the grassy knoll. In the meantime Elvis and Hitler are waiting at the hospital and the morgue respectively. Their jobs were to ensure that a) the victim dies from her horrific injuries and that b) the drivers blood was swapped for that someone who would definitely fail all of the appropriate toxicological tests but still passes a genetic test that reports they are related to their parents.
In the meantime, having parked up Lord Lucan rode Shergar to rendezvous with the other two at a specially adapted Routemaster bus which they used to make their getaway to the moon.
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