Sheffield City Council Shuts Down Popular Drinking Venue

The new city centre PSPO (pronounced pispooo) has had the boundaries carefully drawn to finally bring to an end the long running saga of late night drinking at a city night spot causing disturbance to local residents.

However campaigners believe that the decision to ban drinking from Shalesmoor Roundabout is a blow to the plans in place to continue increasing the levels of hospitality and retail in the area as more new accommodation is built.

Some people are also concerned that the order's anti-loitering provisions are a further effort to try and criminalize the homeless rather than offer them any genuine help. However they have been reminded that taking measures against the weakest and most vulnerable in society is now Labour party policy.

Nick Robinson reporting Brown created global economic crisis.

According to this mornings blog post by Nick:

Gordon Brown has re-written the textbooks for leaders in crisis. It was never before thought helpful for leaders in trouble to organise a global economic crisis.

So more and more of the mainstream media are taking the line that this is all Gordon Brown's fault, good good. It is quite amazing that is worked though.

New web project

It is clear to me that there is a niche in the market for a price comparison site comparison site. Unlike the 1st generation comparison sites there is unlikely to be commission to pay for it all but I imagine annoying adverts will do the trick. After all people will be so grateful to learn which site out of them all saves you most. Obviously we would start in the car insurance sector, then other insurance followed by the wider financial market.

Of course since this is such a fabulous idea soon there will be lots of similar sites, but we will remain one step ahead as we will have the price comparison site comparison site comparison site ready to roll out. Anyone feel like putting in the start-up capital?

Badger fight

In the red corner, former Chief Scientific Adviser and Director of the Smith School of Enterprise and the Environment, Sir David "I never met a nice South African" King

In the blue corner, the Principal of Jesus Oxon., Vice President of the Royal Society, John "Son of the Cycle" Krebs Baron Krebs of Wytham

Ok, ok I'll stop with the grandstanding it was a long night trying to nurse some health into a broken switch. What am I on about? Hilary Benn's decision not to cull badgers in order to try and control bovine TB, which flies in the face of scientific advice and also follows it. The arguments are figure-headed by a an ornithological zoologist and a chemist. The former designed a series of experiments to determine the efficacy of culling and has concluded that the government should use other weapons to combat the disease. The latter had the data re-analysed and concluded a cull would be effective. Both sides of the argument are using data from the Republic of Ireland to back up their position and claiming the other side is looking at in the wrong way.

Perhaps we should cull the cattle for giving the Badger's TB in the first place?

Two scientists, both alike in dignity,
In fair Britannia, where we lay our scene,
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
Where Badger's blood makes civil hands unclean.

Flash bang wallop

Philip Gwynne, of the West Yorkshire Casualty Reduction Partnership, which is responsible for speed cameras in the county, said: “Mr Fielden was doing what any other loving husband would do pointing out where something was possibly being done wrong and he attempted to do that using the laws of physics. “However, the judge has ruled that as in any other situation English law can over rule the law of physics. “Maybe it is time that we left physics in the classroom and allowed cameras to get on with the job of raising lots and lots of lovely money for us. How dare people challenge the universal truth that these things are far cheaper than real police officers.”

I must declare an interest in that I know the Fieldens, but I don't know any of the specifics of the case. Other coverage suggests that it wasn't just a simple case of attempting to blind the court with science in order to get off a fine, but that the camera was set up contrary to the manufacturers instructions. While I picked Mr Gwynne's comments as the easier target for satire the more worrying quote from the Examiner article is “I hope the large costs in this case will cause other motorists to think carefully before mounting spurious challenges.” from Trevor Hall, managing director of road safety support for the Association of Chief Police Officers, in other words, stop complaining peasants and accept what your lords and masters tell you, questioning us will just lead to punitive costs. Only those with large amounts of money should be given a fair day in court, the rest of you back to your mud.

Christmas Hugh

Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall will following on from his triumphant Christmas special ten bird roast (goose, farmed duck, mallard, guinea fowl, chicken, pheasant, partridge, pigeon, woodcock all wrapped in a turkey) with something even more spectacular. The original was developed by Hugh's butcher Ray Smith as more readily attainable by the average home chef than the original seven layer medieval recipe which required the boning out of each bird.
This years extravaganza is again an attempt to use an old established layer recipe but reduce the amount of highly technical butchery required by cutting fillets of as much of the best meat as possible and creating a forcemeat stuffing with the rest. All of the creatures of course will be free range and where possible organic. So the River Cottage special Christmas roast this year will be "fly, spider, bird, cat, dog, goat, cow and horse (of course) in a boned out old woman."

FA announce new England Manager

In a further refinement of the model which saw the takeover of Ebbsfleet Utd by myfootballclub.co.uk, the subscribers of Sports Interactive's Football Manager Live will control the selection of the England team. The player picked most for each position who satisfies the eligibility criteria to play for England will get the spot, the formation that is used most successfully in the online game will be the one used by the team.
A head coach will be appointed to run training sessions and may be given the power to make substitutions, although this maybe done through the game, if enough Football Manager players can be found online during a match.
Each player will get a share of £2.5 Million when the whole thing collapses during the qualifying for the 2010 world cup.

Well I know it his job

Simon Hoggart is a parliamentary sketch writer. His job therefore is to provide the public insight into the workings of the legislature through lightweight reportage that is witty and banterfull rather than bountiful. Sketch writers as part satirists have irony and sarcasm in their tool-kit, with equal measures of anger, and bitchiness putting the bite into the humour.
This Friday however he forgot that when attempting to satirise someone a key factor is that it is funny and in this modern enlightened world we live in, dumb use of stereotyping just really isn't. I expect something better from the man who has written sketch for the newspaper of choice for the soft liberal left for almost 15 years, perhaps he should look for a more appropriate job to exercise his lack of narrow-mindedness, taking over Bernard Manning's slot on the Lancashire born intolerant comics circuit that or join the Labour government as Home Secretary. Oh and Simon, I know plenty of real people hereabout that say 'reet'.

Exclusive News

Today it has been exclusively revealed in a newspaper today that I wouldn't wrap my fish and chips in let alone read, that a crazy theory that they have been espousing for years has a new twist coincidently on the same day a family is mourning having lost their mother 10 years ago. The shock news being reported is that someone who has had those same ten years to come out and denounce his own previous version of events, that he has in fact been confirming to may other newspapers and broadcast media sources, is now saying something different.
Apparently all these years we have been maligning the driver of the car, it was in fact a piece of cake for him to take a sharply sloping turn at three times the speed limit while three times over the drink drive limit. So what happened? Simple, Lord Lucan was paid by Professor James Moriarty to drive a white Fiat Uno, he uses a Phased plasma rifle in the 40W range to take out the car, then drives off to park the Uno behind the grassy knoll. In the meantime Elvis and Hitler are waiting at the hospital and the morgue respectively. Their jobs were to ensure that a) the victim dies from her horrific injuries and that b) the drivers blood was swapped for that someone who would definitely fail all of the appropriate toxicological tests but still passes a genetic test that reports they are related to their parents.
In the meantime, having parked up Lord Lucan rode Shergar to rendezvous with the other two at a specially adapted Routemaster bus which they used to make their getaway to the moon.