Thursday 13 January 2011

Proud announcement

Today it is my great pleasure to inform you that we have rubbed dog poo on the biscuits of the vast majority of our customers by passing their needs over for a small but annoyingly loud section of our user base just because they are cooler than the rest of them.

Our development team, or outsourced agency as appropriate, are ecstatically happy to be associated with locking this effort down to a small percentage of handsets despite there being technologies that allow for a rich user experience on a vast pantheon of devices to be produced in one go. We might rapidly look for features that require hooking into low level device functionality in order to justify using a narrowly targeted native app but doubt, given the nature of our business, we’ll find any.

We are of course unrepentant that all our customers have paid for this despite most of them not needing, wanting or being able to use this new service. We thought about recouping the cost of this project from only the customers who will benefit by charging a small fee to join the programme, but despite having a developed model for charging those that opt in to extra service it was felt that in this case these people are far too cool to have to pay.

This is how I read announcements about native iPhone apps from organisations I am a customer of.


erroneous said...

Mmmm, poo biscuits

Dalziel B said...

Fortunately the Google ads beneath your dirge are all for a certain fruit named company, that sells "cool" products to "cool" people. I should know, I bought one.